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This is a rush transcript from “Gutfeld!,” February 14, 2022. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: Something funny is set up there about me and everybody just claps. They just start clapping. Just a natural kind of thing that happens among Real Americans. Happy Monday, everyone. What a great show we have today. First of all, Judge Jeanine is here. Here she is pulling into town.
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GUTFELD: RIP. It’s the only carpool that comes with a lifeguard. Dagen McDowell was also joining us. And of course, he arrived right behind the judge.
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GUTFELD: Oh, nice. Huh? She was a poor mountaineer barely kept her family fed. So, I’m thinking something really big took place this weekend. And no, I’m not talking about finally getting my word removed, which incidentally drew more viewers than Don Lemon tonight. It’s not the Super Bowl which proved once and for all that masks are only for (INAUDIBLE) no, it’s something that media prefers not to cover, and like their own bloated butts.
And it’s about their once favorite topic, the Russians. Except it’s not their favorite anymore, Judge. Without their preferred storyline, they buried it like a drifter in the woods. Remember that? Because it’s no longer about Trump. It’s about Hillary and not Duff, or Swank, or the sexiest one of all, Sir Edmund. Take it away, Jon Scott.
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JON SCOTT, FOX NEWS HOST: A shocking revelation in the Durham probe of the Trump Russia investigation. New filings allege that Hillary Clinton’s campaign paid a tech company to infiltrate servers at Trump Tower, and later inside the White House to try to create a Russian collusion narrative.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Tech Executive-1 and his associates exploited this arrangement by mining the Executive Office of the President’s DNS traffic and other data for the purpose of gathering derogatory information about Donald Trump.
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GUTFELD: There you go. They didn’t just do this before the election, but even after he became president. It’s connected to a criminal case against Hillary’s lawyer Michael Sussman, who fed the FBI and the CIA the fake Alpha bank story. Remember that? He’s also accused of lying when he told the FBI he wasn’t representing any client. This guy makes Avenatti look like Thurgood Marshall.
So it turns out Hillary does know how a server works except for the one that kept her e-mails and a bathroom closet. But you won’t hear much about that today because the legacy media will avoid it like a fat ugly baby. Case in point, we went over to take a look at what was on CNN’s homepage and here’s what we found right now.
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GUTFELD: Oh. I could only find something that brings me that much joy. But actually it was worse than that. They’re big story on CNN, stating the Joe Rogan’s use of the N-word is another January 6. I wonder if anyone at CNN pulled a hamstring making that stretch. But that CNN’s definition of news. When one hysterical hoax collapses, they create another like they’re a rotten chef constantly attempting a souffle and failing.
But there’s a reason why the press can’t cover this story. Because if they cover it, they end up having to cover their own cover up. It’s a lot of work. The same reason we can’t get to the bottom of any of their claims because at the bottom is their own asinine complicity. Remember this classic 60 Minutes moment?
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DONALD TRUMP, FORMER PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: The biggest scandal was when they spied on my campaign. They spied on my campaign.
LESLEY STAHL, CBS WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENT: There’s no real evidence of that.
TRUMP: Of course there is.
TRUMP: It’s all over the place. Lesley, they spied on my campaign and they got caught.
STAHL: Can I — can I say something? You know, this is 60 Minutes. And we can’t put on things we can’t verify.
TRUMP: You won’t put it on because it’s bad for Biden.
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GUTFELD: So rather than cover the big story, bigger than January 6, Watergate and crop tops on men combined, sorry, Chadwick. They go back to the Rogan buffet and fill up on the same old hysterics. They’ve just replaced Trump with Joe. The good news. Even Dems see through this. According to one poll, pile of Dems want to see Hillary investigated if only to stop her from running for president every four years until 2084.
Roughly three out of four of those polls said they think it’s important that prosecutors investigate Clinton for her role in Russiagate. That includes 66 percent of Dems. So you think the media who caters to Democrats like their royalty would embrace this story since so many Democrats want to know more? But they can’t because it calls into question the last six years of their bogus (BLEEP) it exposes their corruption.
Turns out the Trump-Russian collusion story was just a deflection from the Hillary-Russian collusion story. It’s a terrific strategy really. When you’re afraid of being accused of being unfaithful, just accuse your partner first. When someone’s on the defensive, it’s just harder for them to come after you for real crimes. That’s true. The Russian story, the everyone is racist story, the all cops are bastards narrative and the COVID story.
Remember when it was racist to be for the travel ban? Each example to flex from something similar and awful that the left is doing. It’s the Russian case. In the Russian case, they went hog wild for years creating accusations conflict in anger. Think of the strife, the emotional costs, not to mention Trump supporters being targeted just because their guy won. Of course there needs to be a trial but no doubt it will be ignored by the same nincompoops.
Yes, I use that word. Who drooled every time Robert Mueller broke wind. And you can forget this guy? Do you think he’ll say it’s worse than Watergate?
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CARL BERNSTEIN, CNN POLITICAL ANALYST: What we are watching in the Trump presidency is worse than Watergate.
I keep getting asked, are there echoes of Watergate in this and there are – – we’re also witnessing something we did not see in Watergate, which is a meltdown by a president who is demonstrably unhinged.
What we’re seeing is worse than Watergate.
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GUTFELD: What a journalistic one hit wonder. He had a chart topper in the 70s. It was called Watergate. And all he does is play it at weddings and funerals. He’s the Milli Vanilli of commentators, except they actually had better material. Of course, the story barely merits aside because so many journalists made money, got promotions, landed cushy jobs because of Russiagate.
It was CNN’s bread and butter for years. If you don’t believe me, look at Stelter’s waistline. So now we’ve learned that this is way worse than just spying. Some might say it’s a conspiracy to destroy a presidency. An actual threat to democracy. But those some don’t work at the networks that caused this very mess. Or they might say this it’s indeed worse than January 6, because it helped justify it.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Period.
GUTFELD: Let’s welcome tonight’s guests. She uses a gavel to bring justice to people and to make chicken tender before cooking it. Co-host of “THE FIVE” Judge Jeanine Pirro. She’ll say bless your heart right before she rips it out of you. Fox Business Anchor Dagen McDowell. He’s aggravated more gay men than a canceled Lady Gaga concert. Outspoken editor, chief contributing editor of The Spectator Chadwick Moore.
And finally for Valentine’s Day, she crushed up her candy hearts and snorted them off Cupid’s butt. Fox News Contributor Kat Timpf. Judge, Judge, Judge, great to see you. You look fantastic. Can I say that?
JEANINE PIRRO, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: Yes. I like your tie, too.
GUTFELD: Well, I didn’t tie it very well today.
PIRRO: Well, but you wore for it Valentine’s Day, right?
GUTFELD: No, I didn’t.
GUTFELD: I wore it for you, Judge. I wore it for you.
PIRRO: Thank you. For all your women fans.
GUTFELD: Yes. I’ve got millions, millions of all ages. I might add. Yes.
PIRRO: Animal fans.
GUTFELD: Well, let’s get to this topic. OK? You’re already annoying me. What happens next? Does any — if you don’t have a media that pushes that this story get covered, then they don’t have to cover it.
PIRRO: I’ll tell you what happens next. Apparently, of the some of the people involved and all of the people involved in the creation of that that narrative where Hillary Clinton’s campaign hired people to make it look like Donald Trump was working with Russia and a Russian bank and therefore is a Putin asset, a Russian — a Putin puppet. All those people who know they’re responsible are now shivering in their boots, because they know they’ve got the network now.
They know they’ve got the causation. They’ve got the connection. And they’re actually looking. This filing that came out is really about attorneys representing the same — representing similar people. They’re bouncing one of the attorneys off. And I think one of those attorneys might be Marc Elias, I couldn’t be wrong about that. But you can’t represent several people who are going to be accused in this investigation.
Bottom line is this. They’re getting close to indictments, and they will indict. People are now giving information. They’ve got an organized criminal enterprise. This is a fraud against the United States government. They not only tried to surveil a campaign, but actually had some kind of surveillance in the White House. I mean, this is — this is an outrageous scenario. And the American people should be furious because you mentioned it in your open.
How — I mean, we were in each other’s roads for years.
GUTFELD: Yes, yes.
PIRRO: And, you know, and we spent all this money on Mueller who’s zero who came up with none of this and now we’ve got a real —
GUTFELD: Think — I mean, you’re right. Think about the I actually murdered a family of five during a conversation about this. And Dagen, it was like, if this thing wasn’t framed like this, that family would be alive, Dagen. Would be alive. I blame — I blame them. The family.
DAGEN MCDOWELL, FOX BUSINESS NETWORK ANCHOR: Murder them with your feet.
MCDOWELL: So awesome.
GUTFELD: By bare feet, stomp them.
MCDOWELL: I have my own little conspiracy theory. Actually, it’s not even conspiracy theory, it’s probably true. They’re trying — the media are trying to take down Joe Rogan because there is nothing more frightening to them than somebody who can’t be controlled, who doesn’t give a (BLEEP) about being part of the media maroon coven, if you will. Somebody with 11 million viewers and listeners that if Rogan really starts digging in to the — this Russia collusion hoax, I think that this is their way of trying to silence Rogan and anybody else.
It’s why did CNN go after Fox? Well, because we’re — Fox has been winning for 20 years, but it’s the same thing. That they don’t want a light shined on the media malfeasance of covering up for Clinton and pushing this because this is goes beyond just the Russia hoax and what was going on, leading up to the election, but it also extended into Trump’s tenure, which is essentially a coup.
And like, why are Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger, why are they having this holier than thou January 6 Committee?
GUTFELD: They like their new friends. They like their new friends.
MCDOWELL: It is a riot. I understand that. But there’s plenty of videotape. Why not have some hearings about what happened with Clinton?
GUTFELD: You know, they just — people — human beings, like new friends, especially if the new friends hated them at first. So they’re getting this strange new respect from the Democrats. That makes them feel really good. And they don’t go like, it’s more fun to have a liberal like me than have my old Republican friends hanging out with me. Chadwick, is this worse than Watergate?
CHADWICK MOORE, CHIEF CONTRIBUTING EDITOR, THE SPECTATOR: Well, the court filings —
GUTFELD: You’re supposed to say yes.
MOORE: Yes. It is.
GUTFELD: Thank you.
MOORE: You’re always right. You know, the court filing says very clearly that President Trump was spied on in the White House.
MOORE: And I heard, you know, Richard Grinnell who was a DNI said this very same thing. How the hell do you spy on the White House without help from someone inside the government?
GUTFELD: That’s the question.
MOORE: I mean, that I think is the biggest — what might come to light your in-most terrifying thing, someone who inside government knew about this, who was in on it and who helped the spying. But you’re correct.
GUTFELD: Barack Obama. Or shall I say Barack Hussein Obama?
MOORE: But what did Obama and Joe Biden know during when the campaign was spying on Trump —
MOORE: Will they be indicted or brought into this? Who knows?
GUTFELD: Yes. This is very, very interesting, Kat. Have you recovered from your weekend of Super Bowl mania?
KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: It’s so bad.
TIMPF: I was going to ask them to change the channel at the bar.
MCDOWELL: That’s true. I was there.
TIMPF: Everyone said no, we like this. Or some variation of that.
GUTFELD: Did you have any relationships or parts of your life that were damaged by this incredible hoax?
TIMPF: Yes. I mean, obviously, I think everybody has. And what’s crazy about this not being covered is like, you know, these are court documents from the federal prosecutor, which is like a step or two above. Anonymous sources say. But they love those.
GUTFELD: Yes, they love those.
TIMPF: They love those.
GUTFELD: They got four years of them.
TIMPF: Yes. It is. That jump all over that but not this. And, you know, I get that they’re busy, because they have to connect Joe Rogan to not only January six, but the genocide in Rwanda in 1994. That was that article said, like there’s going to be genocide because I mean, like, that is a job. I consider myself a creative person. I don’t think I could have thought of that.
GUTFELD: No. That was pretty. I was impressed by that — the writing there. I mean, it was awful. But you got to be a particularly bad, bad kind of writer.
TIMPF: It’s like so many people are like dumb and like do dumb things. But so few are like sneaky, where they can become richer than I’ll ever be off of that.
TIMPF: This is like a version of that.
GUTFELD: Yes. He was an intellectual Snooky. No, he was — actually, you know, he was a dumb version of Snooky because Snooky is brilliant.
GUTFELD: One of the great minds of the 21st century. Up next. Are California’s elite class lists for demanding kids cover up while they party maskless? There was the rhyme.
GUTFELD: None of the elites wore masks in their seats. Well, that would be weird if they did actually. They’ll put your rights in a squeeze while they do whatever they please. Everyone from L.A. Mayor Eric Garcetti to some fellow named LeBron to a bunch of actors I didn’t recognize are being called out for defying the mask rules at the Super Bowl. Even Ellen DeGeneres who took hers off only so she could spit on foreign and former employees and foreign ones.
That’s not true. She’s a delightful person. We’re getting brunch tomorrow. It’s almost like people are realizing this safety theater was just that theater, except the actors in the show no longer want to play their roles. The city health department repeatedly noted that all attendees would be required to wear a mask inside the stadium. They even gave up upgraded KN- 95 masks. Perfect for when you want to cheer and soak in your own drool.
But none complied clearly, and they shouldn’t have to wear masks except it makes them all hypocrites. When you consider the fact that kids in California still left a mask up in school. And the kids will have to still wear masks even after California’s mandate is lifted on Tuesday. I guess the feeling is, if they were attractive, their parents could afford private school. Am I right? But it raises a question with their faces covered.
How will the kids learn to judge each other by race? I bet the left did not think of that. Did they? So, Chadwick, may I call you Chadwick?
MOORE: Yes, yes. You may.
GUTFELD: Or Chad?
MOORE: Yes. You know.
GUTFELD: Or Wick.
MOORE: Wick is better.
GUTFELD: All right, Wick.
MOORE: Wick is better.
GUTFELD: Do you notice how now they’re redefining the definition of freedom? It’s like now freedom is like, oh, freedom is great until you infringe, but then they define what the infringement is. So if you’re like not wearing a mask across the street, you’re infringing on my rights. I don’t have to wear the mask but you not wearing one is an infringement.
MOORE: Right, yes, yes. And — yes, it’s — I’m taking away your freedom to feel safe in your — what is — yes, yes. You — it’s gone from my rules dictate what freedom means. Well, look at like the truckers.
MOORE: You know, and how the — with the protests. Well, they’re tyrants and they’re fascist because they’re demanding more rights.
GUTFELD: Yes, exactly. Yes.
MOORE: How does that work exactly.
MOORE: And that picture of Ellen DeGeneres, I legit thought that was Justin Bieber at first.
GUTFELD: Well, you know, they’re —
MOORE: He’s looking terrible.
GILLESPIE: Well, she looks — I think she’s quite an attractive woman. But so it’s Justin Bieber.
MOORE: He is a very attractive woman.
GUTFELD: Very attractive woman. Dagen, Can I say that? I mean, I don’t — you know that I don’t see gender. I just don’t see any gender.
MCDOWELL: You just see just —
GUTFELD: I’ll sleep with a mannequin.
MCDOWELL: Yes. You just say like, luscious eyebrows.
GUTFELD: What is — I know that we were talking about this in the break that — we have to almost retire the word hypocrisy because we get nowhere with it. Right? So what do we say? What can we do? We just have to say you’re not wearing masks, we’re not wearing mask.
MCDOWELL: Sanctimonious ass crack.
GUTFELD: There you go.
MCDOWELL: Like Charlize Theron. I — these celebrities have been hankering to not wear these masks for a couple years. Because really, you know, at the end of the day, you can always count on them. Did I just say end of the day? I’m sorry.
GUTFELD: Yes, it’s OK.
MCDOWELL: You can always count on them to be needy, desperate attention horse. So they’re not going to go to the Super Bowl. And sit in a box —
GUTFELD: And wear a mask.
MCDOWELL: And wear a mask because what if the audience at home doesn’t recognize —
GUTFELD: Yes. Tough one.
MCDOWELL: That is just the — what is the point? They might as well just be sorry and sit at home.
GUTFELD: Yes. We saw this coming, didn’t we, Kat? We knew this was going to happen. That’s why we ended the whole pandemic February 1st because we said like we’re going to run headfirst into the Super Bowl.
TIMPF: Yes. Last night on my way home from the bar, I did not wear a mask.
TIMPF: And that was because I lost it. I’m going to say now it was for the kids.
GUTFELD: There you go.
TIMPF: It was for — rewrite, it’s for the kids. Because honestly, all the time there’s obviously different rules for adults than for like toddlers. And I think that’s good. But usually, that’s because we don’t think a toddler can handle things.
TIMPF: Now we’re expecting them to handle more. I just thought whoever made this rule that a two-year-old has to wear a mask, they should have had to meet a two-year-old first.
GUTFELD: Right. Exactly. Exactly. Judge, you know, we cover this on “THE FIVE.” What more — what more can you add to this scintillating topic?
PIRRO: Well, probably not a lot. Except, here’s the issue is that those people who are in politics and those celebrities who may be unmasking so they can be seen in the public forum. They just think that they’re better than the rest of us.
GUTFELD: That’s true. And maybe they are, Judge.
PIRRO: I don’t think so. And I think that they believe that they don’t have to follow the rules because they are the upper class and we’re the peons. When it comes to the politicians, we put them in office, how dumb are we? But I think the saddest part of it all is that the weakest of everyone, the children are left having to wear masks in school and outside of school on the playground.
I mean, that’s really all about the fact that they don’t have power. And I think we should give the power to the — to the kids.
GUTFELD: Yes, it’s like a virtue signal that you place on somebody else. Right? It’s like those kids should be wearing masks, there I did my business. Now I don’t have to wear one. But as long as I force other people to follow it, therefore, I am actually virtue signaling by some kind of abstraction.
PIRRO: Yes, yes.
GUTFELD: You know, it’s like saying that if you’re a jerk actress, as long as you claim that you’re for the right cause, you can still be for the — you could still be a jerk to everybody. I mean, Harvey Weinstein, that was his entire career. Everybody knew what he did, right? But he did nothing but liberal causes, which created a moat to protect him from all the perversion.
PIRRO: There’s one video of a woman on an airplane and she doesn’t have her mask on and she’s fighting with an 80 year old guy.
PIRRO: You’ve seen this. And the — and the flight attendant says, put your mask on. She said, you heard her put your mask on. She doesn’t have a mask on.
PIRRO: And the flight attendant says, you put your mask on since he’s got, you hear that? Put your mask on.
GUTFELD: And that woman was Scarlett Johansen. Right?
GUTFELD: There’s a chance I could be right. All right. Up — and she was actually a former cheerleader, right? Oakland Raiders cheerleader. Yes.
MCDOWELL: I’m just thinking about Scarlett Johansen’s mouth. Never mind.
GUTFELD: OK. Sometimes. Up next. Will weak D.A.s never say enough to put criminals back in cuffs?
GUTFELD: Why are so many homeless people turning so freaking lethal? And why is a comedy show talking about heavy crime? Because the left-wing media won’t give it airtime. Meanwhile, terrified women are in full retreat because D.A.s won’t keep the crazies off the streets. Last week, a Salt Lake City woman was attacked by a homeless man after letting him inside her apartment to shower.
The police responded to the scene to find the woman in critical condition, bleeding profusely from her throat which was slit by the psycho that she tried to help. Thankfully doctors were able to save her life. The suspect was found a few days later not far from the scene. Now, that was Salt Lake, far from places like L.A. or Manhattan. Speaking of Manhattan, another woman was also attacked in an apartment by a homeless lunatic. Authorities found her bloodied body in the bathtub having been stabbed to death.
The guy who did it was you guessed it, a career criminal out on bail, who appears to have secretly followed the woman inside. The victim’s landlord blames New York’s woke, D.A. Alvin, nothing to brag about, Bragg, in his soft on crime policies that allowed unhinged repeat offenders to continue roaming the streets. So, let’s recap. The murderer, the homeless male, check, a career criminal, check. Out on the streets with multiple open cases, check; the murder victim, a female, check. The murder victim Asian, check. Murder weapon, a knife and not a product of gun violence, check.
So, how many more of these do you need? Crime rates keep rising, and the most frequent victims are women and people of color. But if you ask the media, today’s most pressing issue is taking down podcast hosts.
GUTFELD: So, Kat, this is a — we’re a fun show, but we can’t do, we can’t just pretend — we’re the, if we didn’t do this stuff, who would do it? And you’re a woman, so you claim.
KAT TIMPF, FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR: Yes, I am a woman.
GUTFELD: This following people home business has been happening. This is not good. Well, how do we how do we get the people who don’t watch Fox to give it (BLEEP)?
TIMPF: Yes, it’s, it’s hard because it is Fox, and everything we say is apparently you know, do you have to say oh, that’s not always there — This, there’s like statistics here. And this is something that keeps happening. And the repeated thing is oh, gun violence, gun violence, a lot of gun violence still happening. So that’s not working. And also, people are, you know, stabbing each other to death now. And I’m all about having compassion for people, but not for violent criminals. I don’t, I don’t feel bad for violent criminals, which is apparently like, not what everybody thinks anymore.
GUTFELD: I know it is almost becoming weirdly acceptable, Judge, to side with the criminals, you’d coined the phrase criminal privilege. The other thing that’s interesting what, what, Kat, brought up is that we know that gun crime is gangs, the knife crime is almost all homeless, right? Because they can’t get access to guns, but they’re stabbing people. So, it’s not just about the object. These are people — we’re allowing wild, insane, deranged criminals on the streets, and they’re killing women.
JEANINE PIRRO, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: Well, they’re killing women, because women generally are seen as you know, vulnerable, easy targets are seen as prey, the predators are out there, they’ve got their knives, they can overcome them. But I must tell you that, you know, for 30 years — me, you know, you fight for the underdog, you fight for the victim.
But what we’re doing now is as you say, we’ve got this criminal privilege where everyone is fighting for the criminal to be out there. And now, the criminal is not only taking over the hood and the streets and the inner cities, they’re taking over the suburban areas now. Their fault — they’re following women home, and the crazies on the left are saying, you know, in San Francisco, we talked about this on “THE FIVE,” I think it was, where they said, you know, why don’t you help us out and take a homeless person into your home?
Are you stupid? S-T-O-O-P-I-D, I mean, take a homeless person into your home? There is the victimization is going on is so great that they’re going to take over the cities, we don’t have it — we don’t have a chance.
GUTFELD: We’re entering like the Escape from New York Road Warrior scenario, Dagen. And the sad thing is, though, aside from the victims, all of this weird, all of this amazing progress we made.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Yes, we’re lost.
GUTFELD: It’s just lost. And I don’t know if we have the power to bring it back. Because we don’t have the leaders. There’s no Giuliani anymore. That’s going to come in and, and also you don’t have agreement on this.
DAGEN MCDOWELL, FOX BUSINESS NETWORK ANCHOR: There was some A.P. article that a friend of mine sent me. He won’t be texting me any longer after he sent this to me. It was written I think, by the A.P. talking about kind of suggesting that it’s all in our head, that crime is that bad.
That is essentially sent the message like: It was much worse in the early 90s, when more than 2,000 people were murdered in New York, fewer than 500 were murdered last year. I’m like, that’s what we have to (BLEEP) wait for? We’re going to sit around for decades, waiting until the number of people who are murdered in New York gets that bad before any of these (BLEEP) does anything about it? That, I don’t — I’ll stop cursing. But I’ve come on this —
GUTFELD: I don’t believe you but go ahead.
MCDOWELL: I’ve come on this show it because women are defenseless. We’re not allowed to go and get a concealed carry permit. We have no way of defending ourselves and I’ve come on this program repeatedly talked about ways I could defend myself. I came up with another one. One of these butane torches using a kitchen. There’s one you can buy on Amazon for about 100 bucks it works outside it works in the wind I’m just going to walk around going, going out to make some cream brule, get out of my way. Because you don’t have any way of deterring these people. One more thing, all these, the Asian hate crimes. Remember two years ago, Trump’s fault because you called it the Wuhan flu.
MCDOWELL: And the China virus. It was Trump’s fault that all of these Asian women, many elderly, were being attacked by deranged homeless people.
GUTFELD: Yes. Who paid a lot of attention to the origins of COVID. That’s the one area that all of our homeless agree on.
PIRRO: Well said. Bravo. Bravo.
GUTFELD: Last words, Chad.
CHADWICK MOORE, EDITOR-IN-CHIEF, GET OUTSPOKEN USA: I’m becoming, I’m becoming a little more authoritarian, and I think we need to reopen the loony bins in certain institutional people.
GUTFELD: That’s not authoritarian, that’s sensibility.
MOORE: I think it’s — yes, exactly. Mayor Adams, I had this, I had this impression of Mayor Adams from the beginning that he seems to flatter a little too easily.
MOORE: I think he wants to just hang out with Robert De Niro and go on Bill Maher. And now, he’s talking about what, how New Yorkers need to be vegan?
MOORE: It’s a sensor like rap music.
MOORE: OK, well, look what’s happening to this to this poor woman in Chinatown, what happened to her?
MOORE: So, unfortunately, I don’t — people thought he was going to be a lot better, anything is better than de Blasio, clearly but —
GUTFELD: I know. But, I mean, the bar is low. But he’s he hasn’t shown — I mean, he’s doing these introducing the anti-gun unit again that guy’s getting, but we need, we need to see some serious action from Asian groups. They’re like, you know, they’ve got to really mobilize because, I mean —
MCDOWELL: Also, businesses —
MCDOWELL: Businesses, if you stand up and threat not just threaten, you’d leave, you get out of dodge go to floor go anywhere, but New York say don’t come here. It’s hell earth, don’t come here. All right. Coming up. Hookers, rods, elicit fun, this fishy stories got something for everyone.
GUTFELD: Did horny anglers have hookers touching their danglers? Apparently, catching perch leads to a prostitute search. That all went down during a Hudson Ohio council meeting last week, like all things do. It began with a diatribe against ice fishing. But then, it took a weird turn. Take it away Mayor Craig Schubert.
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CRAIG SHUBERT (R-OH), FORMER HUDSON MAYOR: Additionally, if you open this up to ice fishing, while on the surface, it sounds good, then what happens next year to someone come back and say I want an ice shanty on Hudson Springs Park for x-amount of time? And if you then allow ice fishing with shanties, then that leads to another problem — prostitution. Now, you got the police chief, police department involved. Just data points to consider.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: It’s quite a leap there. Not sure who gave him those data points, but I bet they have frostbite in some strange places. Does explain why there are so many igloo brothels though. In a follow up statement, Schubert said his worry: “Stems from my experience as a former TV news producer, reporter, reporter sorry, covering law enforcement agencies which have made arrests for acts of prostitution in ice fishing shanties.”
Wait until this guy hears about hotels. They’ll get a room next to the ice machine for old times’ sake. Last week, Hudson officials announced that they decided to allow ice fishing on the lake anyway. And after days of being mocked and drawing national attention to a city, Schubert announced his resignation this morning, saying he was trying to be funny, and that his comments were misinterpreted.
My intent, “my intent to inject a bit of dry humor to make a point about this, in the midst of a cold, snowy February was grossly misunderstood.” But maybe he’s right. Maybe ice fishing does lead to prostitution. Because when you think about it, all really miserable hobbies are just there to keep you from calling a hooker. Why do you think they invented books? Kat, why do you think they invented books?
Because if we weren’t reading, we’d be soliciting sex all over the place. Ice fishing was made for dudes to stay out there and start hitting on the hookers. Where are you on this sex worker stuff?
TIMPF: I mean, in the future, my future nation of Kadistan, I will welcome all hookers, ice fishing adjacent and otherwise. Yes, it’s like first of all, if he was right, like so. And, and also, why is he so passionate about this? Because he says he’s joking after he already made his statement doubling down. I think he really quit not because he was embarrassed, but because he is going to go down there. He’s going to be a one-man anti-ice fishing cooker task force.
TIMPF: And he’s going to go find them.
GUTFELD: You know? This is like going, this truly is a slippery slope. You’re going from ice fishing to the Bunny Ranch on a glacier, Judge.
PIRRO: I don’t know what to say about this guy. I mean, I’d like to know a little more about his background like, did he ever work at a house?
MCDOWELL: I think he kind of —
PIRRO: You know?
MCDOWELL: I think he kind of tells you everything that you need — by spinning this fantasy in public. But what if — you know here’s a thing, Judge, what if he’s right?
GUTFELD: I mean —
TIMPF: That’s great for the economy of this little town.
GUTFELD: And Shanty —
PIRRO: Yes, just looking for more the economy for the, for the place?
I mean, you know, the people are upset about the, about COVID; and the lockdowns. I mean, let the guy be creative.
GUTFELD: Yes, exactly and it keeps the prostitutes out of your neighborhood if they’re at that ice shanty, you know —
MOORE: He does seem to know a little bit too much about it like, oh, you know, the prostitutes come around. Sometimes they bring those little electrodes they burn your nipples and I mean that’s just what I heard.
GUTFELD: It is, though, but you can use his argument with any issues, OK, for not brushing your teeth, you’re going to get cavities and then you’re cavorting with hookers.
GUTFELD: Because biblogically that’s how it works, it’s like a degrading situation next thing you know you’re in the backseat with some crazy lady, having the time of your life.
MCDOWELL: I’m thinking about my dead mom made a point and all those years and that she was just avoiding calling on prostitute. I love you, mom, if you can hear me.
GUTFELD: This is, he did say he was kidding. Do you buy — or he was trying, was he really joking, Dagen?
MCDOWELL: I think that he was saying out loud. He’d clearly spent a lot of time thinking about you the —
GUT Did guy’s face next to him?
MCDOWELL: Yes. I can do the face. I was rehearsing the face in my office.
GUTFELD: He was like, the guy was like — oh, man. By the way, I think, I think when he actually said it, too, he was like going did I just crossed the line because everybody has in their brain, they think, geez, did I just screw up. I do that on “THE FIVE” twice a day, but not about ice fishing and —
TIMPF: He just was so calm, as if he was saying literally anything but that.
GUTFELD: Yes. Exactly, exactly. I hope he doesn’t ruin the business for the ice fisherman and whatever love they seek to find in whatever shape of form.
PIRRO: Especially on Valentine’s.
GUTFELD: A huge boom for ice fishing everywhere, just the idea of what could happen in that little warm shanty?
PIRRO: Not so warm shanty.
GUTFELD: What’s the hooking, hooking?
MCDOWELL: You get a little you got to take a heater with you.
GUTFELD: Yes, there you go.
MCDOWELL: All right. I think we’ve had enough in this topic. All right. Up next, the return of a dinner for correspondents with a host who makes listeners despondent.
GUTFELD: It’s the dinner where no one is a winner. I speak of the White House Correspondents Dinner, the meal where the entertainments so bad, you’ll pray for food poisoning. Place for journalists, fawn over celebrities, celebrities try to look smart, normal people wish the whole thing would just die. Trump had killed the thing, but COVID buried it. Now, it’s back like a decrepit zombie or a Sex in the City reboot, refusing to die. What does it smell?
There’s a tip for this year’s host, Trevor Noah. Trump’s not president anymore, so maybe go after who’s in power. Of course, most of the jokes will be about either Fox News, Joe Rogan or Matt Gaetz. If you’re lucky, you might get some Marjorie Taylor Green and a sprinkle of Tucker, which is my favorite cologne by the way. But nothing there that will piss off all the hacks in rented tuxes. The association expects that Biden will be there. I wonder what he has to say?
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
TOM SHILLUE, COMEDIAN: Oh, yes, look, look, I’m looking forward to this dinner. I’m getting my tuxedo ready right now. And I know how you tie these things I got to get. I got to get Jill to do that. She’s a doctor. Look, look, I can take a little gentle ribbing, a little jug and thick, high thick skin, all right? And I’m sure that there, there’s a lot to make fun of with all Joe, like the ice cream. Hey, look, I eat a lot of ice cream and you know things like that. It’s going to be a lot of fun. I think most of these guys are going to be nice. If they’re not, we’ll just call it misinformation. I’ll get Jen Psaki and open up a file on you with Homeland Security, call you a domestic terrorist. I’m going to have a good time.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: Dagen, I’ve to I think two of these, things are awful. Have you gone? No?
MCDOWELL: No, I don’t get invited. Ever. I don’t know why, again, because I like to do the armpit noises at the dinner table.
MCDOWELL: It’s a little embarrassing. But if I did get an invite out, RSVP, and yet, because I’ll be attending a Joy Behar bikini waxing instead, which is so much more delicious.
GUTFELD: Oh, geez.
MCDOWELL: My dad always said don’t trust anybody who can’t laugh at themselves, or whose fly is always down. So, that would apply to everybody at the White House Correspondents Dinner.
GUTFELD: That is true.
MCDOWELL: In one way or another.
GUTFELD: Chadwick, why — obviously they chose Trevor Noah because he’s going to be safe and they all match his assumptions about the world, so that — I’m not that surprised by it. But why would you say yes to doing it? I mean. there’s no win on
MOORE: Yes, I might actually watch. I would never watch an award show but I’m just to see if they would take some meaty shots at what’s going on. I doubt it. But I just think about remember like, Nor McDonald —
GUTFELD: Amazing guy.
MOORE: Roasting Bill Clinton. You had like Don Rickles, roasting Ronald Reagan. Of course, it was all in good fun. And everyone could laugh at each other for one night and have a nice time. Those days are gone. It’s just everything’s too nasty. The media is way too — they live their card show too much. And it’s, it’s you can’t have that kind of night where everyone just
Yes, I remember the — there was that story that it was the attack on Trump that made Trump run and win from I think, I don’t know if it was Colbert. I don’t remember, I don’t think it might have been Colbert.
PIRRO: It was Seth.
GUTFELD: Seth Meyers.
PIRRO: Yes, Seth Meyers. Yes.
GUTFELD: Yes. Yes. And who should you, who should headline the Correspondents Dinner, Judge, Greg Gutfeld?
PIRRO: You know, I’ve been to several of them. I think that Greg Gutfeld will do great. I think you’re respected by everybody — I
GUTFELD: No, no, no I would say no —
PIRRO: You would say no? All right, so then, would you put three women in they way they’re doing.
GUTFELD: Oh, for the Oscar’s?
PIRRO: Yes, for the Oscar’s.
GUTFELD: We’re talking about safe, huh?
PIRRO: Yes, bad is safe. But here’s the thing, you know, they’re talking to each other. It’s like it’s an echo, it’s an echo room. No one, you know, who disagrees with them is going to be there, is going to be watching so, you know, Trevor Noah is doing the right thing for himself because we’re all on the same side, but nobody cares. It’s not what it used to be —
MCDOWELL: Real quick, Ricky Gervais and they’d never have another one.
GUTFELD: Yes, that’s true. But you know what, they almost, Kat, they almost never had another one anyway. And that why the hell are they bringing it back? Maybe there’s — I don’t understand me there probably is some kind of worthwhile charity that I’m not. Would you do it?
TIMPF: Yes, but only because I always say yes, when someone asked me that question, no matter what it is.
GUTFELD: It’s always been a problem.
TIMPF: Yes. It’s just it’s going to be boring like for him because his whole thing is just like, I have an accent. You have a racism over and over, and over, and over — just condense it to that.
GUTFELD: God, I wish I had that. That would be great. I went to the best, it was terrible, it was awful. I think I went twice for “THE FIVE,” it was awful. But the best thing was when the members of the five were at wanted to get a picture taken, we were just going to get a whole group picture taken.
And so, one of our panelists was taking a picture of us. And there was a, another newscaster from another network behind us who thought that we were trying to get her in the picture. And so, she walked over to us and she said, you know, you guys could just ask, oh, I’m happy to take it.
PIRRO: What did you say?
GUTFELD: We started laughing at her. What was her name? I wish I could remember her name. Erin? Not Erin Burnett. Sports lady. Sports lady.
TIMPF: Yes, I’m not going to be able to help you there.
MCDOWELL: The blonde?
GUTFELD: Yes. Erin Andrews.
GUTFELD: That was classic. I don’t care.
PIRRO: So, maybe “THE FIVE” should go this year.
GUTFELD: Yes, we should go but we should get super hammered.
GUTFELD: Perhaps do some, perhaps do some psilocybin judge?
GUTFELD: Baby! Don’t go away we’ll be right back.
GUTFELD: We are out of time. Thanks to the great Judge Jeanine, the great Dagen McDowell, the great Kat Timpf, the great Chadwick Moore. “FOX NEWS @ NIGHT” with evil Shannon Bream is next. I’m Greg Gutfeld. I love you, America.
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